Triangulation

Although it may be dressed up in seemingly harmless talk, or sandwiched between nicer comments about the other person, the person is, possibly unintentionally, but more likely intentionally, trying to manipulate the perception and reputation of the other person that is not there to defend themselves. This is triangulation and it’s a form of communication where instead of talking WITH the other person, someone is talking ABOUT the other person. This common, passive-aggressive behavior is toxic, destructive, manipulative, and contagious.