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Home » THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT: DON’T TEAR DOWN, BUILD UP!

THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT: DON’T TEAR DOWN, BUILD UP!

    You shall not murder. – Exodus 20:13 NRSVCE, Deuteronomy 5:17 NRSVCE
    You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. – Matthew 5:21-22 NRSVCE

    One of the first stories in the Bible describes Cain killing his brother Abel (Genesis 4:8). Since the beginning of time, people have understood that intentionally taking, or being an accomplice to taking, an innocent life is wrong however the Fifth Commandment goes well beyond this surface level interpretation. Certainly murder, the intentional taking of innocent life, is a serious violation of this commandment however at the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus explained that anger and insults toward others will result in judgment (Matthew 5:21-22). If this Commandment simply meant not committing murder, it would be relatively easy to keep and it would be kept by most people. This Commandment seems to be about respect for the human person and all life from conception to natural death. It is about respect and love for ourselves, our family, our neighbors, and all people as images of God. Any acts, or acts of omission, that harm, disrespect, or lead to the harm or disrespect, of the dignity of human life would likely violate the Fifth Commandment.

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MURDER AND KILLING

    The Fifth Commandment does not prohibit killing, it is specific in prohibiting “murder”. Killing is different than murder. “Murder” is the intentional, premeditated killing of another person with malice. As Cold Case Christianity points out, the definition of murder is familiar in society as it is often provided in the various penal codes throughout our country. Even these penal codes distinguish between intentionally taking an innocent life with malice and killing. These penal codes typically provide some justification for killing if certain conditions are present. Killing may be justified if it is an accident, self-defense, preventing someone from entering your house to commit a violent felony, or to prevent the harm of someone else. 

    WHEN IS KILLING JUSTIFIED

    Killing can be justified in cases of legitimate self-defense. Self-defense is a right and a duty. We are created in God’s image and we must respect the gift of life that God has given us. Loving yourself and respecting this gift means we must protect and defend ourselves from the unjust actions of others. Jesus summed this up in the Second Greatest Commandment where we must, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

    It is important to remember that there is a right to self-defense however this is to defend yourself, not take aggression or revenge beyond what is necessary to protect yourself. In some rare cases, it could be possible that in order to defend yourself and your personal safety that killing is necessary. The key is that that the intention was self-defense and it was necessary and the only reasonable option to protect yourself from the aggressor.

    In loving our neighbor as you love yourself, we are also called to protect the rights and lives of others. This responsibility is especially important when we are in a position of authority, like a parent, police officer, military, etc. Similar to the justification as defense of yourself, it may be necessary and the only reasonable option to protect others from an aggressor.

    This commandment can provide some direction for certain end of life decisions as well. Most of us will be faced with moral decisions regarding the end of a loved one’s life. This topic is beyond the scope in this blog however I suggest visiting mycatholic.life for a thorough explanation of this topic. 

    In these situations, a doctor(s) will need to be carefully consulted to answer questions regarding treatment as to the chances of success, effectiveness and how burdensome the treatment will be.

    The ultimate goal of this Commandment is for the respect of the human person and all life from conception to natural death. We need to respect, love, and protect ourselves, our family, our neighbors, and all people as images of God.

    WHAT DOES THE COMMANDMENT REQUIRE?

    The Fifth Commandment prohibits the intentional taking of an innocent life. This could include taking your own life or the life of others. We need to respect and love ourselves, our family, our neighbors, and all people as images of God. Any actions, or inactions, that could lead to the
    tearing down, disrespect, or harm of ourselves or another, would go against this commandment. This would include physical actions or words, like gossiping and slander that can “kill” another’s reputation or spirit. Emotional and verbal abuse can cause severe damage to others, especially when done within a family.  

    According to My Catholic Life, all forms of anger, passive aggression, or mean-spirited actions violate this Commandment.  We must strive to love and respect the whole person, body, mind and spirit.  When one is harmed mentally, spiritually or physically, this Commandment is broken.
    Envy is also a violation of this Commandment.  Envy is different than jealousy.  Jealousy is wanting something that someone else has. It could be their possessions, personal qualities, social status, etc.
    Envy often begins with a certain jealousy but adds to it some form of harmful acting out toward the other.  Envy is being upset, sad, or angry over the good of others and often leads one to try to damage them as a result. Envy is not necessarily wanting something that others have, it’s more about not wanting them to have it which would go against loving your neighbor as you love
    yourself.   

    Finally, this Commandment is broken even when we act in a negligent way and fail to properly build up others.  We have a responsibility to love and support others.  When we fail to do this, we are partly responsible for the negative effects this has on them.  

    For a detailed discussions about abortion, indirect homicide, suicide, euthanasia, police and military actions, capital punishment, and organ transplant can be found in the Catechism

    HOW CAN WE APPLY THIS TO OUR FAITH?

    • As with any of the Commandments, it’s important to contemplate where you may have violated this Commandment when doing an examination of conscience prior to going to confession.
    • Where you may have gone against this commandment, confess, repent, make it right as best you can for those you may have sinned against, and ask for forgiveness from them and God. God knows our heart. He knows if there is true humility for acknowledgment of the sin, true contrition for the sin, and the true desire to repent and avoid the sin in the future. Without these things, forgiveness is not possible. God gives us the path and the grace for forgiveness however He also gives us the free will to choose to accept His grace and take the path to forgiveness or take a different path.
    • Examination of conscience: Have I cared for the bodily health and safety of myself and all others? Have I spoke negatively about myself or others? Have I had thoughts of hatred toward any others? Did I abuse drugs or alcohol? Have I influenced or in any way supported anyone else going against this Commandment through my actions or inactions? Have I supported in any way, abortion, mercy killing, or suicide?

    HOW CAN WE APPLY THIS TO OUR FAMILY?

    • In families, probably the most common examples of where this Commandment is violated, is when the human dignity of another is intentionally disrespected or harmed. In family businesses, where love, power and money can add fuel to the fire, tearing down other family members can run rampant through triangulation if not guarded against 24/7. The “murder” of another’s reputation would break this Commandment and this can often take the form of gossip, negative criticism and triangulation. In extreme cases, it could even amount to slander which, in addition to the spiritual consequences and judgment by God, someone could face legal consequences. It is often shocking how we can rationalize and justify the gossip, negative criticism, and other harmful or disrespectful behavior toward another. It is important to remember that the end never justify the means. It is a fundamental Catholic principle that no matter how noble your intended goal, you cannot achieve it ethically through an action that is evil in itself.
    • We have a duty to help foster the good of others, build others up, and encourage them toward holiness. and with family members, the responsibility is heightened. We need to help others and avoid evil, by our words and actions. This includes leading by example and leading others to do good and avoid evil. In contrast, it would violate this Commandment if we caused or influenced another to sin. According to the Catechism, this would be scandal. (#2284)
    • Sometimes as parents, we can fall into the trap of allowing one of our children to vent to us negatively about their siblings or others. We feel that we need to be a shoulder to cry on and help comfort them. While allowing children to be heard, we need to be careful that we aren’t allowing them to speak unnecessarily negative about others. You often get what you tolerate. If you tolerate this kind of venting and gossip, you are influencing them to continue this behavior. This type of unhealthy communication can become a learned behavior in families and continue into adulthood. This type of communication creates an unhealthy and destructive cycle within family relationships and family businesses where family members talk about each other versus with each other. Although it may be well intended, this form of dysfunctional communication often leads to a very damaging game of telephone that leads to emotional cut-off, broken trust, growing resentment, and negative assumptions and conclusions about others.
    • This Commandment expects us to have respect for the salvation of ourselves and others, along with respect for our health and body that God has given us. Our bodies need to be respected and cared for as temples of the Holy Spirit. We must take care of our own health and the health of others. Any abuse of our bodies through neglect or excessive or harmful use of food, drink, alcohol, or drugs would violate this Commandment.
    • The dignity of ourselves and any other person, even our enemies, even criminals, must always be respected.

     HOW CAN WE APPLY THIS TO OUR BUSINESS?

    • Where I see this Commandment most often broken is in the every day, internal discussions throughout a business. Negative talk about others in the form of gossip, slander, or triangulation
      would violate this Commandment. It is often present in our parishes, in our families, and in any business, so we must remain vigilant to avoid this type of talk and help others avoid it as well.
    • As leader in the business, you are leading others through your words and actions. Do you participate in the negative talk about others? Sometimes those “gateway drugs” of the deadly sins of pride, greed, and envy can creep into families and business that lead people to gossip about others. “He is lazy.”, “She doesn’t deserve that promotion.”, “My boss is a jerk.” etc. While there may be some concrete facts that you have directly observed that lead you to these negative conclusions, talking negatively about someone else harms that person and doesn’t help anyone. In the end, it damages your dignity, the dignity of the person you’re talking to, and the person you’re talking about.
    • This Commandment requires us to respect ourselves and our health, as well as the health of others. For our own health and the health of others, we all need balance in our life and a focus on what is truly important. Our health is negatively affected both mentally and physically when this balance gets out of whack. If through your time, work is taking priority over your worship of God, your focus on your family, or other higher priorities, your health will be negatively affected. In these cases where your priorities get out of whack, not only might you be violating this Commandment, but you could be violating other Commandments as well. Look at how you spend your time. Are your priorities getting out of whack? Based upon what you expect from your team in your business, are you influencing them so their priorities get out of whack?

    Growing up in a Catholic family, I heard about this Commandment since I was very young. I remember thinking to myself as a kid that some of the Commandments are a little hard to fully understand, but I thought I totally got this one. My childish understanding was that, “Okay, I’m not supposed to murder anyone. Got it. I’m not going to do that so I’m good on this one.” Unfortunately, it seems that this simplistic, immature, and incomplete belief is still pretty prevalent today, even among many Catholics that attend Church each Sunday. It wasn’t until much later in life as I gained
    a deeper, more mature understanding in my faith and this Commandment, that I realized the depth of this Commandment and how easily it can be broken in everyday situations.  

     

    By focusing on the teachings directly from Jesus, we can better understand the depth of what is expected by this Commandment and therefore follow it. If we love God with all of our heart, soul, and mind, love ourselves, and then love our neighbor as ourself, we will follow this Commandment. As St. Paul stated in Romans 13:10, “Love does not wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.” Through our love of God, ourselves, and our neighbor, we must not tear down each other, but build each other up!

    Take care and God bless. I’m praying for you. Please pray for me.

    ADDITIONAL WISDOM FROM THE BIBLE

    • He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ – Matthew 22:37-39 NRSVCE
    • But now you must get rid of all such things—anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language from your mouth. – Colossians 3:8 NRSVCE
    • Keep far from a false charge, and do not kill the innocent and those in the right, for I will not acquit the guilty. – Exodus 23:7 NRSVCE
    • Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet”; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law. – Romans 13:1-10 NRSVCE
    • Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” – Romans 12:19 NRSVCE
    • For this is the message you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. We must not be like Cain who was from the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. – 1 John 3:11-12 NRSVCE
    • For your own lifeblood I will surely require a reckoning: from every animal I will require it and from human beings, each one for the blood of another, I will require a reckoning for human life. Whoever sheds the blood of a human, by a human shall that person’s blood be shed; for in his own image God made humankind. – Genesis 9:5-6 NRSVCE
    • If I say to the wicked, “O wicked ones, you shall surely die,” and you do not speak to warn the wicked to turn from their ways, the wicked shall die in their iniquity, but their blood I will require at your hand. But if you warn the wicked to turn from their ways, and they do not turn from their ways, the wicked shall die in their iniquity, but you will have saved your life. – Ezekial 33:8-9 NRSVCE
    • There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that hurry to run to evil, a lying witness who testifies falsely, and one who sows discord in a family. – Proverbs 6:16-19 NRSVCE