- “When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.” Roy E. Disney
- “When values, thoughts, feelings, and actions are in alignment, a person becomes focused and character is strengthened.” John C. Maxwell
In his book Built to Last, Jim Collins says that all enduring visionary companies have a set of values that determine the behavior of the group.
If we desire to seek eternal success, we must live the values as described in the Bible, the church and the examples of the Saints. Similarly, if we want to have success in our family, alignment with these values, along with a strong commitment from family members, is critical. In the family business, this commitment to the values is critical to success as well. Your values are necessary to make the tough decisions in your life, with your family and steer the company in the right direction.
Engender Trust
Demonstrating your values on a daily basis in the way you live and the actions you take is what builds trust in you, your family and your business. It is built over time, but can be destroyed in an instant. People don’t trust what you say, they begin to trust when your actions are consistent with your words. If you say one thing and do another, trust will be broken. If you are inconsistent, trust will not exist. If when given the opportunity you don’t stand up for a value that you say is important, trust will be eroded. When your actions are consistent with your words, trust grows. When trust grows in living these values all kinds of good things happen – living an authentic life of value with the hope through Jesus for eternal success, family harmony, a legacy of a family that lives their values, a competitive advantage, lower employee turnover, employee engagement, customer loyalty, etc.
It takes real courage and discipline to make sure decisions and actions are based on values. Once these values are established, structure and tools are needed to support and defend them. The values should be clear so take the time to clarify what is meant by the values.
How will decisions go through the filter of these values? How will they be supported and reinforced through vision, strategy, and governance? In his book “The Advantage” Patrick Lencioni suggests that companies that adhere to their core values have a distinct competitive advantage. Similarly in life and within your family, adhering to your values will give you and your family an advantage to success now and in the future.
What Values?
Too often families and companies have an expectation that they have certain values however there is a mismatch between the values and actions which leads to problems. In Patrick Lencioni’s book, The Advantage, he defines 4 types of company values:
- Aspirational values: The values you think your company needs to have, but does not yet have.
- Permission-to-play values: The values that are minimum standards in your business, but they don’t clearly differentiate you.
- Accidental values: Traits that are evident at your company, but they came about unintentionally and don’t always serve a purpose.
- Core values: 2-3 inherent traits that guide everything your company does – from hiring to strategy to goal-setting.
As a Catholic and a business person, I believe that following the Ten Commandments and avoiding mortal sins should be the minimum values for myself, my family and my business. I would like to make sure that every decision I make, every strategy we develop, what I teach my kids and leave as a legacy for our family is that these were the values we live by. I will make mistakes. I will violate these from time to time. I want my family, my friends, mentors, co-workers, etc to hold me to these standards. Luckily, when I mess up, Jesus has provided the path to fix it.
Following the Ten Commandments won’t be accidental because due to our human nature, we will be mess up. If you’re in a situation where you feel that following the Ten Commandments is more aspirational, as a Catholic, please go to confession and consider how to make these your minimum standards as soon as possible.
Now, I’m not so naive to think that anyone would be able to adhere to all these values every moment of every day however shouldn’t that be the minimum standards or the permission-to-play values? When you violate them, Jesus has given us the path to fix it. We need to acknowledge the violation, confess it, repent for it and seek forgiveness. If anyone in your family or business had trust that these values were minimum standards, how amazing would it be to be part of that family or work for that business?
Developing the core values as described by Patrick Lencioni is very important as well and you may want to immediately jump to establishing them. I would challenge you to ensure that your permission-to-play values are truly minimum standards first. I have seen several family businesses that had a good business with some unique differentiation with loyal customers and engaged employees however the business and family fell apart because the permission-to-play values were not consistently followed, supported or reinforced by the family. Often the combination of love, power and money that are omnipresent in every family business, leads to the rationalizing of mortal sins like greed and envy. In several well-intentioned Catholic families, I have seen the family make decisions in the business where they were breaking commandments and committing mortal sins however they rationalized the behavior under the guise that something had to be done and this was the only way. In every case, the family and business suffered because of these decisions, AND, in every case, there was another way.
It May Be Harder Than You Think
You may be thinking that the permission-to-play values are easy and already being lived in your family and your business. You may even feel that the Ten Commandments are followed consistently and mortal sins are avoided. After all, I haven’t killed anyone. I haven’t stolen anything. I haven’t committed adultery or worshiped another god. If you’re in that camp, I challenge you to dig a bit deeper into the full meaning of the Ten Commandments, as well as, mortal sins and how they can often be violated within our life, our family and our business. The holiest people go to confession regularly. Why would they be doing that if it were that simple to follow the Ten Commandments?
For example, consider the commandment, “You shall not kill.” Yes, this commandment does mean you should not physically kill someone however it goes well beyond that. Just because you haven’t physically killed someone, it doesn’t mean you’re following this commandment. It is more than just a physical act that constitutes murder to God, who tells us that, “All who hate a brother or sister are murderers, and you know that murderers do not have eternal life abiding in them.” (1 John 3:15 NRSVCE). If we have hatred in our hearts for another, we have committed the sin of murder in God’s eyes. The hatred toward another person never has to be demonstrated outwardly because God looks upon our heart for the truth (1 Samuel 16:7; Matthew 15:19). In other words, of course premeditated physical murder breaks the commandment, but most people are not going to physically murder anyone. God knows this. The commandment also forbids malice against another person. If you hate another, whether your brother, sister or any other person, this would be breaking this commandment. Does anyone in your family gossip about others? Are their cases of triangulation where someone’s reputation could be harmed? When someone leaves the company, are negative things said about that person? If someone gossiped or spread rumors that could harm someone’s reputation, this would likely be out of alignment with this commandment. (This behavior could also be breaking the commandment of bearing false witness against your neighbor.)
If these values are important, they need to be clarified, supported, reinforced and defended consistently. In order to do that, all decisions should be filtered through these values. They should be included in strategic planning, governance within the company, and within your family council.
Document Your Values
The Ten Commandments were written down. The Bible is the written Word that has been passed down, studied and used as a guide for generations. I would recommend writing these things down and reviewed regularly. Document how someone to bring forth a potential violation of these values and how you will work through any potential violation. These values are foundational to who you are, who your family is and who your company is. If you are going to live these values, they need to ingrained. Anyone that has interactions with you, your family or your business should see and feel these values with each interaction. For your business, they become part of your brand and your competitive advantage. If you want to pass this along to future generations, write it down so others will be able to read, understand and continue to live by these values.
“Ninety-nine percent of leadership failures are failures of character.” – General Norman
Schwarzkopf
What values will you focus on living every day? What values will you stand up for and defend? What values will you defend by not tolerating violations? It has been said that values represent the outward manifestation of character. Our values are perceivable for others, and
through them so is our character. How will your character, the character of your family and the character of your business be perceived?
Take care and God bless. I’m praying for you. Please pray for me.
Additional Wisdom From The Bible
- “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” – John 14:15 NRSVCE
- “Now by this we may be sure that we know Him, if we obey His commandments. Whoever says, “I have come to know Him,” but does not obey His commandments, is a liar, and in such a person the truth does not exist; but whoever obeys His Word, truly in this person the love of God has reached perfection. By this we may be sure that we are in Him: whoever says, “I abide in Him,” ought to walk just as He walked.” – 1 John 2:3-6 NRSVCE
- “If only they had such a mind as this, to fear me and to keep all my commandments always, so that it might go well with them and with their children forever!” – Deuteronomy 5:29 NRSVCE
- “Keep His statutes and His commandments, which I am commanding you today for your own well-being and that of your descendants after you, so that you may long remain in the land that the LORD your God is giving you for all time.” – Deuteronomy 4:40 NRSVCE
- “Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 5:19-20 NRSVCE
- “and keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in His ways and keeping His statutes,
His commandments, His rules, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn.” – 1 Kings 2:3 NRSVCE - “My child, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and abundant welfare they will give you.” – Proverbs 3:1-2 NRSVCE
- “The wise of heart will heed commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin.” – Proverbs 10:8 NRSVCE
- “Praise the Lord! Happy are those who fear the LORD, who greatly delight in His commandments!” – Psalm 112:1 NRSVCE
- “But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep His covenant and remember to do His commandments.” – Psalm 103:17-18 NRSVCE
- “so that you and your children and your children’s children may fear the LORD your God all the days of your life, and keep all His decrees and His commandments that I am commanding you, so that your days may be long.” – Deuteronomy 6:2 NRSVCE
- “Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray.” – Proverbs 22:6 NRSVCE
- “And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the LORD.” – Ephesians 6:4 NRSVCE
- “For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? Or what will they give in return for their life?” – Matthew 16:26 NRSVCE